I remember quite clearly when green smoothies and juices first became a ‘thing’ and I read one too many articles about how thin I would become and how I would no longer crave any foodstuff containing any more than 23 calories and how they would, I don’t know, improve my sex life and do the dishes and make the dinner.
Except the dinner wouldn’t need to be made because I all I would need to feed body, mind and indeed soul was a nourishing green juice.
I even bought some kind of ‘supergreen’ powder to pimp up my smoothies.
Then, when I didn’t become some kind of overnight instagram celebrity, I went on a ‘juice fast’.
Christ alone knows why, but for some reason, in the run up to a holiday, I figured three days of drinking nothing but juice would atone for the 362 days previous to this.
It just made me so uncontrollably hungry that on day 2, when I was out for dinner with people from work, I commanded a bread basket off the waiter before I had even given him my coat.
And do you know what?
I went on my holiday, looked every inch the food lover I am in my bikini and had not one damn to give.
Because I was on holiday, in the sun, drinking rose wine instead of green juices and merely asking for any pictures that were posted on social media to involve some kind of clothing that wasn't a neoprene bikini.
It was one of the most liberating weeks of my life.
When I came home, I nearly ditched the blender and the juicer and the supergreen powder.
But there was one teeny, tiny little problem.
There was one smoothie in particular that I really rather liked.
And, over the years, its has become a regular part of my breakfast line-up.
Some days I have eggs & toast. Some days I have porridge (like normal porridge, made with milk and maple syrup and almond butter, not that stuff that looks pretty on Instagram yet tastes of nothing). Some days I have yoghurt and fruit and shizzle.
The only reason I don’t include pastries in that line-up is because approximately 3 minutes after eating a delicious croissant, I am hungry again, and I need breakfast to keep me going until, well, lunch.
Which this smoothie does, as well as tasting good.
It won’t magically make you slimmer, or do the dishes, or solve any of your problems, but it will be a delicious part of your breakfast repertoire.
Throw a banana in your blender.
Add a load of strawberries, removing the green bit first.
I want to say, like 6 or 7 strawberries but strawberries come in all shapes and sizes and these ones were massive, so I put fewer in.
Its a smoothie, not a nuclear science experiment.
We can be a bit free and easy with these things.
Add some milk.
Any kind of milk.
Since the Great Bread Basket incident I am trying to stay clear of giving up things just for the sake of it, so I stick with dairy.
Coconut or almond are really nice too.
Free and easy, people.
Free and easy.
Not nuclear science experiment.
Add a couple of tablespoons of nut butter.
Well, I say a couple of tablespoons.
But peanut butter is so hard to leverage out of the tub that a large dollop works as well.
Enjoy avoiding food waste by licking every last smear off the spoon.
I do love it so.
Add a of handful of spinach.
You can use kale, or another green if that floats your boat.
But, to me, kale in a smoothie just feels and tastes a bit, I don’t know, good for me. And all chewy and worthy and full of bits.
Whereas spinach whizzes up really smooth and allows you to focus on a breakfast that tastes nice, as opposed to a smoothie that forces you to contemplate the poor life choices that have led you to have to chew your way through three hundred millilitres of sludgy green pond for breakfast.
Blend the whole lot up, then add another handful of spinach and blend again.
Pour the whole lot into a glass, enjoy your breakfast and get on with your day.
A green smoothie that actually tastes nice
Serves 1. Cooking time 5 minutes.
- 1 banana
- 5-7 strawberries
- 150ml milk of your choice
- 2 tablespoons peanut butter
- 2 handfuls spinach
- Put all the ingredients save one handful of spinach in your blender and blend.
- Add the second handful of spinach and blend again.