Onion bhajis

Mr P has been at his funny business again.

No, not THAT funny business.

The funny business involving wires and cables and soldering irons and switching about of things so that I am no longer capable of switching on the tellyvision. Except this time he has taken to my van.

You see, in the run up to Christmas the man was an angel and a saint and helped me deliver approximately 243 million boxes of party food across the city and he realised quite why I am so obsessed with creating the perfect playlist with just the right amount of terrible 90s dance.

So, in a bid to improve my driving experience he decided to fit a subwoofer.

In a very old transit connect.

For those of you who don’t know what a subwoofer is, it is basically the thing that takes up half the boot of the car belonging to your local boy racer, and they can set up the sound levels all wrong and drive around down with the heavy thud of dance music their only friend. Well, maybe not their only friend but they can’t actually give anyone a lift because the subwoofer takes up too much room and in any case, the poor corsa has been lowered so much they can’t take any weight. Especially if their friends live in an area with speed ramps.

Speed ramps are the boy racer’s enemy.

Its almost as if they were designed to be so, or something.

Anyway, while these boys racers drive round, it is the subwoofer that makes the thud.

And apparently this was priority number one for my little van over Christmas.

This week I was quite interested in stuff on the radio, so I did not unleash full playlist power upon my new, improved sound system. I sort of, erm, forgot about it. And then, for some unbeknown reason I was thinking back to days of yore and I was reminded of Lizard by Mauro Picottosome deeply cool music by a band that doesn’t even exist yet.

I shuffled through Spotify, turned up the volume and raved like a good thing all the way down Chichester Street.

Until the drop.

Where it began to sound like there was some sort of captive in the back of the van, banging to be set free. Or some kind of pneumatic drill. Or some sort of boy racer who had set up their sound levels all wrong.

Mr P has taken to the ‘sub’, as these things are known if you are down with the kids, with a can of sealant and an air of defiance. He will shortly be doing laps of the area to make sure everything is tickety-boo for future van raving appreciation of bands that don't exist yet. 

If you live in the area, I can only apologise.


The onion bhaji wrap is by far and away the most popular lunch offering in the Little Pink Kitchen. Here is how you make the bhaji part. The rest is up to you, but if you really can’t be bothered, order one here any day they are on the menu.

Finely slice a medium sized onion.

Throw into a bowl with a heaped teaspoon of curry powder (I use fairly mild stuff for this)…

And a pinch of salt, and stir well.

Add 50g gram flour. 

Gram flour is chickpea flour, which produces the crispiest batter ever and you can totally buy it in the supermarket.

Get on that case.

And 100ml water.


Cover the base of a frying pan in a slick of vegetable oil and heat over a medium, erm, heat.

Once it is warm, drop is heaped teaspoons of mixture. I like loads of crispy batter bits, so keep mine quite small.

After a few minutes, flip and cook the other side.

Drain on some kitchen paper.

I forgot to take a picture, but if you imagine an onion bhaji sitting on some kitchen roll, that is what it looks like.

Serve, as a side to a curry, or wrapped up in a tortilla with mayonnaise mango chutney and a few sneaky pickles.



Onion bhajis

Serves 2. Cooking time 10-15 minutes.

  • 1 medium onion
  • 1 heaped teaspoon mild curry powder
  • 50g gram flour
  • 100ml water
  • Large pinch salt
  • Vegetable oil, to cook
  1. Finely slice the onion
  2. Add to a bowl with the curry powder and salt, mixing well.
  3. Add the gram flour and water, and mix well until combined.
  4. Coat the base of a frying pan with vegetable oil and heat over a medium hob.
  5. Add spoonfuls of the onion mixture to the oil, cooking for 2-3 minutes each side.
  6. Drain on kitchen paper and serve.




Sarah Patterson